Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Car loans, credit reports, and FICA scores

I have been debating whether or not to buy a car now that I have moved back and am stationary and will be for the next two years. It has been a very difficult challenge to face, and questions of living simply continue to sit in my head. How I wish I lived in a city that had reliable public transportation. Everyone who I have spoken with has told me how impossible it will be to work and go to school full time without a car, even if I will be living with people who work at my same school. There are so many reasons for me not wanting to own a car. Probably on the top of the list is its contribution to the global warming that is no longer undeniable. As many of you know I have spent two years living in Micronesia, tropical northern pacific islands, that more than half of the world doesn’t exist. They do, but sadly not for long. I feel like a foreboding apocalyptic preacher as I talk about it, but is there any other way. In the three years that I have known Micronesia, I was able to see clear and significant affects of global warming on the islands that are home to so many. As the polar ice caps melt, the water levels of the pacific are rising and with that come higher tides and stronger waves, that destroy sea walls that protect these islands, and slowly rip away pieces of the island. For some of these porous coral atolls, the water will sometimes seep through the center of the island, pouring salt water into the crops, ruining the very important food supply of these islanders. The effects of global warming are already being felt by the Micronesian people, and yet we here in the states are able to go about our lives just the same, because our way of life isn’t being immediately threatened. What does it matter that some tiny little islands in the middle of the pacific will not exist, especially when half the world doesn’t even know that they are there, because map makers fail to put them on 5th grade world maps. It matters, because their lives affect our lives. We have to remember that we all belong to one another, and it doesn’t matter where ever people are, we have to ‘stand against the idea that their lives our worth anything less than ours’. And of course there are a lot of other things that I can do to help leave a smaller carbon footprint, but with the amount of driving that I have already done in my first year of coming back to the states, and the amount of driving I will be doing commuting to work and school, I really am challenged by this ‘need’ to get a car.

Some friends have helped me to see that living in Los Angeles is very different than living in other places. I used to commute on the bus to get to LMU. I had to be at school at 8 AM. It would take me between 2 ½ and 3 hours, each way. I wish that I had 6 hours a day to commute, but unfortunately my program does not allow me the luxury of this time, and with the proximity I will be to my work and school, it will not be possible to do this without a car. Recognizing then that I will need a car for the next two years, I then must venture into what kind of car to get and how to get it.

Immediately, in thinking about my carbon footprint, and checking out fueleconomy.gov, the sanest option is to look at getting a hybrid. Why is it that car companies have made it so difficult to be able to afford a car that will be good for the earth? Prius’ are one of the most expensive cars that you can look for. And as many people have mentioned to me, hybrids are still not the perfect solution to care for our earth, because of the batteries that we still don’t know how we will dispose of, after they are finished. But I am looking for a hybrid, and finding it to be a very difficult task. But it gets even more difficult.

Once I find a car, I am then going to need to be able to pay for it. Now after finishing years of volunteering, I do not have any money saved, and I have more debt because I have been deferring loans and not making any money for a few months now. This has given me a very small insight into the plight that so many low-income families face when trying to buy anything. I don’t have money, so I need try and get a loan. I will need to check my credit, and see what my score is. What any of this means is beyond me, but I need to be able to do it. Pass a test that proves that I can jump through the hoops that the bank companies and car dealers will put up, so that I can have a reliable mode of transportation, because public transport isn’t. For so many families this is almost an impossible thing to be able to do, especially for low-income families, who have never had an opportunity to establish a ‘good line of credit’. And as the economy tumbles, lenders are only putting up more and more hoops for people to jump through to get these material things that so many people say are necessities. Then we wonder why there are so many low-income families riding the buses or pushing their family’s groceries down the street in a cart. They don’t have a choice of whether or not they can just drive their cars down the street to pick up some milk and cookies for the kids. I am recognizing just how much of a privilege it is to be able to make a choice of whether or not I have a car, let alone what kind of car to drive, but it does not make it any easier. I would love to hear any of your thoughts on this, and hopefully some advice! (or maybe a free car if you have one lying around that you aren’t using) Thanks :)

Monday, June 15, 2009

Two Weeks Home

I have been home from Micronesia now for two weeks exactly. I have been an FJV now for two weeks. It is not an easy life. It is so easy to fall back into the life that we lead before, a life unaware, a life where I take advantage of the fact that I have done all of these things, with out the recognition of how it has changed me or transformed me. Some things have not changed, and I am still undone. It has been so easy for me to fall back into the complacency of life here in LA. And I wonder if it is more the city than anything or would it be the same way anywhere else. There is still so much to reflect upon what going back to Micronesia has meant, but if there is one thing that was the biggest grace of going back to Chuuk, it was gratitude. I have been living in so much gratitude, and filled with so much joy it has been a wonderful feeling of cloud 9. But very little self-awareness and critical reflection. I need to find the balance between both. To live both in gratitude and critical self-reflection, of the choices that I am making, and how I am choosing to live my life. I am no longer living in a community that will hold me accountable to whether or not I choose to live simply, or witness my faith, or promote social justice. Can I do it myself? My hope in doing JVI was that I would be able to. I am realized as I have realized since I have returned home, that it is a lot more difficult that I thought it would be. I have chosen to do a program that is in small ways aligned with the four values of JVC, but is that only running away from the problem. I feel like this being at home is the true test. It is so difficult to truly live out these four values when you are on your own. When you feel that there is no one else who understands you. As isolated as I have felt being in the San Fernando Valley these past two weeks, will living my life as an FJV also be isolating? Is that the choice that we make, when we ask to be ruined for life?

I don’t have any answers, but I have hope and prayers. Hope for a community that understands and shares in these same values. Prayers for all of those who have no choice of whether or not they have to live simply, because they have no other options. For those people who have no choice but to fight for justice, because the injustice they face, threatens their lives, and the lives of their loved ones. Prayers for those who share and live their faith because it is the only thing that gives them hope. Prayers for those who understand that we belong to each other and that kinship will be the way to eradicate the poverty that plagues us all.

 

Thursday, May 14, 2009

the journey continues

This blog is intended to be a place for me to process the realities and struggles of trying to live out the four values of the Jesuit Volunteers, after being a JV. We spend a year or two working to integrate the values of spirituality, community, simle living and social justice, into our lives as JVs. In no way does being a JV make these values easy, but the intentionality and accountability that our community mates offer us, creates an environment in which we are supported along this struggle. But what happens when the environment is no longer there? That is a question that every FJV must face, and one that I begin to look at with this blog. I appreciate you taking the time to walk with me along on this journey of being "ruined for life". Because the ruining of JVs does not end when their year of volunteering does, and so our journey continues...